For the first time in a long while. I've missed a lot due to my health problems plus lack of commitment to a particular church plus feeling overwhelmed and burnt out with life in general. Working every Saturday hasn't helped.
There were some high points in today's service, and I was glad to have been obedient to God in going, but I have to admit that mostly I was disappointed. The choir sang a song that truly ministered to people, and although it wasn't to my musical taste, I could tell that God was there and moving. The sermon was kind of slow and had potential but came to a hasty conclusion and boiled down to salvation and nothing more. Salvation is good-- I don't mean to minimize it-- but for myself, I was looking for something deeper which I didn't really find.
One good thing I can say is that the congregation seems a little less reserved than when I was there last-- not so stiff. I attribute this primarily to the patient insistence of one particular leader who keeps gently forcing people out of their comfort zones. There also seemed to be a greater mix of ages which I think is a good thing.
In all fairness, the church is without a senior pastor right now, so they're doing the best they can, and I think love is evident there. Somehow something IS missing though-- I can't quite identify it, but I leave every service feeling frustrated by a certain emptiness, and by my inability to articulate what I sense. I hope God helps me to pinpoint it soon and to know how to handle it, because I don't like church this way.
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