I moved my appointment with the sleep specialist up from June to April; I do not think my insomnia has been sufficiently resolved, and I still need help.
I spent most of the day reading the health information which the patient advocate at my TMD specialist's office provided. Since I have another appointment coming up shortly, I wanted to "prepare" a bit.
Some facts about migraine timing-- they can follow periods of stress, occurring in the "letdown" phase. To counter that, the suggestion was to try to slow down during the stressful period but to pick up the pace a bit afterwards-- the idea being that a more even work/stress load keeps blood vessels in the head from contracting then dilating suddenly and causing a migraine. Helpful maybe, interesting for sure; it encourages me to observe my body's patterns more closely at the very least.
I also read the pamphlets given to me about anxiety disorders. I don't think I have one, but I do believe there are times when hormones cause me to be tense, endlessly indecisive about stupid stuff (like whether to dare to deplete my kitchen pantry of a can of salsa verde by opening and consuming it), and anxious for a few days in a row. I startle easily (at completely unspooky things), have nightmares (usually bugs or intruders, but horrific even if the content seems ordinary), and have serious mental BATTLES not to dwell on life's negatives and lose perspective (depression). Sometimes I lose the battles too despite my best efforts. Win or lose, all I want to do is be by myself, because the battles are fierce and require concentration and reflection to work through.
Those brief periods mimic anxiety disorders and could be taken for one by health practioners looking for buzz words in my help requests-- but I don't believe they are, because the next hormonal shift makes all that nonsense evaporate. Suddenly, no anxiety; I'm just tired instead. And, the 3-day episodes reoccur on a monthly basis-- the details change (what I'm tense or indecisive about), but the essentials remain.
Besides, the meds I take already include one anti-depressant (for hormonal mood swings) and one anti-anxiety drug (to calm my brain for sleep, thus combatting insomnia). Seems to me that if I really had an anxiety disorder or depression that those meds should take care of it. The fact that they don't (during those short episodes) leads me to believe that hormones are the culprits rather than anxiety or depression.
This is a breakthrough for me. I've never been able to state what's happening to me in that phase so clearly before. I fully intend to show this to the health professionals who are trying to help me. And thinking about what I've written, it's no wonder I feel a little crazy or out of control some days-- these ailments do a number on my mind as well as my body. It ain't NO fun, believe me.
Let me just say that here's one female who's longing for menopause. I honestly think heart disease and/or breast cancer (risks of these increase for women after menopause) would be easier to bear than the constant and severe emotional up-and-downs that are the same-old same-old, yet always seem to take me by surprise. I'll take my chances; bring on "the change" even with the risks.
Okay, enough of that rant. Moving on!
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I resumed knitting again today. I'd been working on a sock and had almost completed it, but the pattern says to bind off "with double strand"; I don't know what that means and haven't been interested in finding out. I'm sure it's not difficult, but I wanted to knit without practicing new techniques for a while. So I've put that aside and have now resumed a blanket I hadn't worked on since back in October, I guess. I'm ready to finish it (or at least make some progress on it).
Tomorrow I need to do some chores and errands. I've been ailing and "battling" for three days already which is three days too long.
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Menopause for some women brings their first migraines, mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, weight gain and that's the beginning of the list. It is an awful thing to feel not well day after day and I do hope some relief from these difficulties is on it's way to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I do have good days too-- I don't know how I could stand it if I didn't!!! Today seems to be one of them. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHaving one daughter that dealt with anxiety and insomnia issues and another daughter diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, I have to say that the anxiety and insomnia is harder to deal with. At least if my diabetic daughter gets sick I have medicine that is proven to help her. With the other it's hard to know what helps, especially since the anxiety rarely makes sense to anyone outside and no amount of rationalizing works in the midst of panic.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are able to find what you need too!
Your poor baby-- and you family all had to deal with it so long before finding solutions. Life is definitely rough sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI read some interesting stuff on the web late last night & then again this morning based on what you told me. I am considering getting a blood test for food allergies. It's just expensive, and I'm unemployed. If it comes back negative, then I've just waved bye-bye to a wad of cash and gained little in return-- except to exclude some possibilities. Still weighing and searching out info.